"The people we are in relationship with are always a mirror, reflecting our own beliefs, and simultaneously we are mirrors, reflecting their beliefs. So...relationship one of the most powerful tools for growth... If we look honestly at our relationships, we can see so much about how we have created them."
~ Shakti Gawain, author “Living in the Light
~ Shakti Gawain, author “Living in the Light
You can look at it simply -- there are ways of seeing, ways of being, and ways of thinking and emoting... all which place you into a space of resonance or vibration. This in turn creates and evolves your relationships into what you'd like them to be (or what you don't want them to be)
I know...relationships are a co-creation. In my coaching practice this actually is the hardest thing for my clients to work with because you can't control another, and you can't control another's thoughts or emotions. Wouldn't it be nice if she/he would just think like me, be like me, and see like me?
You might be more of a reflection of each other than you truly are aware of. Nonetheless...
Your relationships offer you some of the juiciest contrast that life has to offer your doesn't it? With broad differences AND free will you might find yourself asking if the pain, the contrast, or the "opportunity for growth" is worth it at all.
I will tell you, and you know this of course, it is. The joy, the love, the partnership...the personal expansion through one another is all worth it, and it's through our personal struggles that we expand our physical experience and thus our spiritual selves.
We are lucky to have such a wide variety of love in this world - are we not? (oh, yes, have I mentioned that YOU are love, and so is everyone else)
If you chose to "see" your relationships in a way that is in alignment with your inner being, the love that you are, and that relationship that you'd like to experience -- how might it look?
Being that like attracts like, it's difficult to attract the relationship of your dreams by standing in the place of judgment, fault finding, and finger pointing. Collaboration does work, as does having he intention to work it out, even it the midst of stress.
Think about it. How might you see the relationship? How might you see the other person?
Anytime...and I do mean anytime - I turn my focus toward a true appreciation of my spouse, my children, my parents - you name it -- they literally shift before my eyes. My experience changes.
Did they change? Nope. It was me, and because of my alignment with who I am, (love) and who they are (love) I am able to have an alternate experience. The Universe gets to deliver that relationship to you on a silver platter - and ways beyond what you thought was possible when you create consistency of thought.
What might happen if you looked for the best in another, hoped for the best, held them in the highest esteem, withheld judgment.... what might happen if you stood in appreciation, blessed the contrast that you have lived in, celebrated the growth?
I agree, it's simplified -- and relationships are complicated. Actually, our ego's are complicated.
Does that mean if you feel hurt in a relationship you just ignore it and focus on how wonderful they are? Does it mean you should stay in relationships that don't honor you? No, you are at choice and you can choose how you want to live and be in the world as it relates to your relationships.
Do you honor yourself and others by being respectful, honest, loving, patient, courteous? That entails being true to your feelings, speaking your truth from a grounded space, and even forgiveness.
Now flip it... have you offered the same to yourself? Begin here...it's the groundwork from which you create beautiful relationships.
However, be mindful about how you are focused, what you choose to see, how you be, think, and emote - and know this will attract the experiences you are seeking!
Lori Hamann, Evolve Life Coaching
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